The Wilcox Family Staycation 2010

It's become our annual tradition (and only real family vacation). Every year Brian takes the first week in July off work (in between tax seasons) and we spend the time doing the fun family stuff here in San Diego that others fly across the country to do. I laugh now when I think about my hesitation to travel with one or two small children when we started this tradition a few years ago, thinking that was an impossible task. Now I realize that we should have traveled then, since two would be a piece of cake. It's all about perspective, isn't it? Besides, we pay a small fortune to live here, so we may as well enjoy it!

We kicked off the week celebrating the 4th of July. We had a great holiday and especially enjoyed seeing it through the eyes of the twins (who are almost two) and really teaching the older boys what Independence Day is really about. We decided to take the following day to recover from the late night before and stay close to home (which translates into more swimming) and a movie.

On Tuesday, we took advantage of the free admission for residents at the Natural History Museum in Balboa Park. There is no doubt that this was the highlight for Chase, who is obsessed with dinosaurs (to put it mildly). He was fascinated by the life-size T-Rex, mesmerized by the Maisaurus, enchanted with the Pterodactyl...and scared to death of the dinosaur-clad person in costume who was walking around to greet the children. Go figure.

The whole museum was impressive, but mostly the twins enjoyed being able to walk it (tethered to us, of course). The boys really enjoy all things nature and with Aunt Renee in tow, it's hard not to get excited about it all. Afterward we stopped by the fountain to watch the waterworks (and the interesting people...).

Another attempt at a family picture. You have to give us credit for trying...one of these days we'll get a good one.

En route back to the car, we made a detour at the carousal (or pseudo-roller coaster, based on how fast it was spinning) where the boys got to tame dragons and tigers.

For living near the coast, we don't go to the beach much, so the boys were really looking forward to spending an afternoon there. It would have been the perfect day- prime parking...no crowd (except maybe a few tourists) and digging in the sand to their hearts' content- but for the record cold July San Diego day (which explains why it was just us and the tourists). Luckily, kids don't care about that stuff.

When I said no crowd, I meant no ONE.

Chase trying to work up the courage to swim with the big boys...but moving water just isn't his thing. Yet.

Ella looking for the perfect digging spot to look for treasures.

She found it.

And these were her treasures.

Garrett, the animal lover, had fun searching for sand crabs.

We chose to forgo the big amusement parks this year like the Wild Animal Park (which the boys recently visited), Sea World or Legoland in an effort to keep things simple (and affordable for a family of six). The rest of the time was spent building random things in the yard (a favorite past time, especially when Renee is in town), swimming, and don't forget the homemade pizza Brian likes to make from scratch. This is a healthy version (if there is such a thing).

A great vacation that was almost...relaxing. What a novel idea!

Chaosing the Control, I Mean...

If I've ever wondered if my family could function without me (and, I have)...now I know. The answer is....yes...kind of.

After spending a week away from home helping my mom recover from surgery I have come to a few other conclusions, too. For instance, despite the sassiness and selfishness that sometime come from Garrett, I was showered in loving compliments and favorite food offerings when I came home. It was reassuring to confirm that he still loves his mommy more than his Legos and junk food. And that Blake, the oldest, is and will probably always be the responsible, dependable one- making sure the twins are safe and pointing out to Garrett when he's breaking the rules. Speaking of rules...I get the sense they've come to appreciate at least some of them. Like going to bed at a decent hour...and possibly even chores (okay, that might be a stretch). Or maybe I'm just thinking of Brian who ended up doing most the household chores himself. And judging from how agreeable the boys were to going back to eating "normally", I think they secretly missed their fruits and vegetables.

As for the twins, they love their daddy, their grandma and grandpa, their cousins (and everyone else who chipped in to help), but no one can take the place of mommy. I got gigantic smiles, happy dances, huge kisses and extra tight hugs for the hours after I returned. With such innocent and pure expressions of love, it's hard to feel anything but love and gratitude. Despite the Crayola hieroglyphics on the wall. And, finally, my husband openly admitted that the family NEEDS me. He even did his best to catch up on laundry, clean the house and try to put things back together before I came home...now that's love!

On my end, I missed everyone terribly but somehow found comfort in still being a care-taker. I missed giving raspberries on Chase's chubby cheeks...Ella's quirkiness and wardrobe creations... Garrett's smile and silly sayings...and Blake's sweetness and endless curiosity. And of course Brian's loving support and reassuring hugs at the end of the day that keep me going. I have to admit, it was nice to actually a read a book cover to cover and sit down for a meal uninterrupted, but I came to miss the noise, the commotion and even the controlled chaos. Did I just say that out loud? Somehow sticky hands, diaper changes and belly laughs are still my preference.

Thanks to the family for working together in my absence and enduring the chaos while I was away. And...now we know. WE ALL NEED EACH OTHER.

Our Not So Lazy Days of Summer

It's been a busy summer so far. All one month of it. There was a week of VBS and a week of Cub Scouts Camp. There was the excitement of Garrett losing his first tooth, followed by a visit from the Tooth Fairy.

There have been some play dates with friends, the discovery of the boys' "Secret Stash of Fun" (the affectionate name Garrett has given the perfect climbing tree in our back yard),

some swimming, lots of lemonade and watermelon, and hours of reading. Blake and Garrett have already claimed their prizes from the library for reading 600 and 300 minutes+ respectively! And that was all before July!

July 4th was packed full of fun and firsts for the family. There was more swimming, lemonade and bbqing but the real highlight for the twins was learning to blow bubbles (and that soap doesn't taste very good), and the magic of watching them form...float away...and disappear. How fun to watch the wonder in those little blue eyes.

A new tradition we started this year is making homemade ice cream (in a ziplock bag) for dessert. It was fun, memorable and delicious!

It wouldn't be "independence day" without the twins taking full advantage of their freedom for the hour or two before fireworks. That included lots of dancing (turns out that Ella is quite the party animal) and running in any and every direction until they were tired enough to sit down for a few minutes and recharge while picking at the astroturf.

Ella getting her groove on.

Chase strutting his stuff.

Like aunt, like niece.

The holidays aren't the same without family. Blake and his cousin Hunter.

Another attempt at a family picture.

Remembering the real reason for fireworks and freedom.

The forecast for the rest July? More fun, lots of outings and maybe, just maybe a little bit of much needed rest.

(Don't you just wish you could be almost two again?)

Top 5 Reasons Brian is the Best Dad EVER!

1. He lets the kids run through the sprinklers...with their clothes on! (shoes and everything)

2. He hits the jackpot at their favorite arcade game EVERY SINGLE TIME (yielding hundreds of tickets and an abundance of pointless toys).
3. To the over-tired child he says, "Do you want to just skip dinner and have dessert?". Meltdown averted (and bedtime just got pushed up).
4. French toast on Saturday, pancakes on Sunday. The more syrup the better. And if you ask nicely, he'll even let you do the flipping.
5. When Brian is home, the babies are FFFRRREEEEE. Inside and out, when Dad's in charge that means hours of running around and exploring. Usually followed by a bath (or, in this case, another run through the sprinklers with the added fun of the Slip N Slide).

And not just because it was Father's Day weekend. Brian is the dad who would rather play catch with his kids than spend an afternoon trying to catch a game on tv or spend hours playing golf when he could be playing for hours with his kids. But what makes him the BEST DAD EVER is that at the end of the day, he is still looking for ways to be an even better dad and husband. How did we get so lucky?

Calculating Motherhood

It all started a few weeks ago. As we talked about what a 50th Wedding Anniversary meant, it was quickly followed with a typical question, "How many days have they been married?". As I drove down the street doing a quick calculation in my head, I replied, "Around 18,500". My answer was met by gasps of shock and laughter as the boys looked at each other in amazement. They were immediately intrigued by the large number and the wheels started turning..."Well, how many days have you and Dad been married?" and "How many days have Grandma and Grandpa been married?" and "How many...". Luckily it's a short drive to school...and math has never been my strong suit.

I didn't think much of it at the time, but after school that day Blake approached me with a calculator and asked, "Mom, how many days have I been on Earth?". Hmmm, let's see. So we did the math...and came up with 2,555. Then added roughly another 180 days (since he's technically closer to 7 and a half)...and then I had a moment of CLARITY (okay, panic then clarity). I've had 2700 opportunities to help shape his life. Twenty seven hundred chances to show him how much I love him. Have I been a successful mother?

If I answer this question honestly, then the answer is yes...and no. Blake is a wonderful child and he is very loved, but there are definite times when I missed or simply wasted opportunities to be a better mother. This was my moment of enlightenment for two reasons: One is that, while I know it's not realistic to be a perfect mom all the time, it reminds me that I have the potential to be the kind of mom I want to be to my children EVERY SINGLE DAY. And two is that knowing I've been blessed with 2700+ days with Blake is a sobering reminder of how much of a GIFT each day really is with all my children.

These are two of my favorite quotes, which, in the context of motherhood, seem to say it all:

Yesterday is history. Tomorrow is a mystery. And today? Today is a gift. That's why we call it the present. ~Babatunde Olatunji

God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change; courage to change the things I can; and wisdom to know the difference.

The Merry Month of May

One of the drawbacks of being really busy and not using that as an excuse not to exercise is that I fall behind on other things. Like updating our blog. Rest assured that there has been plenty going on with the Wilcox household, and while another drawback of being constantly on the move is that there is less picture taking, there are still plenty of memorable highlights from the last month or so.

Mother's Day: It wouldn't be Mother's Day without the token school-made trinkets, cards and hand-made terrarium. But it was the very original tomato snowman that Blake insisted upon giving me that made it memorable. That, and the feeling of being very loved. (Okay, so it's a little odd, but it's SO Blake. And kudos to Brian for believing in Blake's vision and helping him execute it).

Garrett's First School Performance: Every year at Open House at school they have the kindergartners sing a few songs on stage for the parents. Well, at least all the other parents got to watch...Brian and I were too busy chasing the unrestrained twins around the auditorium. This is also the same reason I didn't get any good pictures of Garrett on stage...but it's just as well. Despite his enormous personality and lack of volume control at home, Garrett gets very shy on stage and spent most of the time chewing on his shirt collar. You would have thought all those hours practicing in the shower would have boosted his confidence...

Blake's Class Field Trip: Another day at the zoo, but this time it wasn't my house or the classroom- it was the real zoo! It was a fun day spent looking at all the exotic creatures and learning something new. For instance, did you know that a polar bear's favorite food is a carrot? And, yes, we got to see polar bears "plunge" and elephants spew water. In fact, most of the animals were especially active as our bus wound around the park. But as a chaperon of three boys, the real highlight (for them) was seeing the Reptile House (with every creepy kind of snake and reptile you never hope to meet) and the Insect Exhibit with the much-more-tolerable ant farms and bee hives. But best of all, it was a quality day spent with one of my favorite students (far right).

Cubs, Tigers and Wolves: After his first year as a Tiger Cub, Blake was officially promoted to a Wolf Cub. Blake is a great match for Boy Scouts (except for the whole painting-on-the-face-thing) and has been earning patches faster than Grandma can sew them on (which, come to find out, is somewhat of a science). As Blake finishes out his first year, Garrett gears up to join as a Tiger Cub this summer, and then officially this fall, with Brian as his den leader. I couldn't be more proud of my boys! (second from the left)

School Carnival: I don't mind volunteering for field trips and helping teachers in the classroom- in fact, I enjoy it! I feel it's a privilege and my responsibility to be involved in the institution where my kids spend most of their time. But anyone who's ventured down the path of school volunteering can tell you that before you know it you will be chairing, running or organizing something significant. And while I've managed to resist that to some degree, I'm always amazed at how many parents don't really care. As for my family...the boys care, maybe too much. They expect that whatever I do for one class, I will do for the other. So while I didn't have to organize the school carnival (other than filling shifts), I did have to work the class booth. For BOTH classes. Still, I enjoyed seeing the proud look on the boys' faces when they saw me working. What I will remember most, however, was watching Garrett anxiously count and save his carnival tickets...and wait in long lines...to buy junk food. He played a few games, but to him the real prizes were the cookies and soda. I guess we know where that apple fell from...

Cans for Critters: As part of the reward for collecting and recycling cans through Cub Scouts, the boys (and Brian) were treated to a day at the Wild Animal Park. (I know, it's only May and we've already done all the "summer stuff"...) They got to go to an exclusive bird show, tour the park and be with friends and fellow Tiger Cubs.

But the best part, if you ask Garrett, was the five or so Lorikeets that sat on his arm and drank sugar water from the cup he was holding. For the kid who loves birds, it is something he will never forget.

50th Anniversary Party: Like I said, May was a busy month. Another first for the boys...going to a "grown up" party to celebrate their Great Aunt Joyce & Uncle Gene's 50th Wedding Anniversary. And while the boys couldn't help but whine and complain about the car ride (5 hours to Palm Springs? Who can blame them?), getting dressed up and just about everything else, what they didn't expect was...to have fun. Garrett channeled his inner party animal and danced the night away....literally. Hard to believe we're talking about the same boy who stood on stage just weeks earlier, nervously chewing on this shirt. Blake had fun too. Turns out, they have decided that "grown up" parties aren't so bad.

I don't know who was more entertained...Garrett, his cousin Emmie, or the party guests.

Swimming like fish: Since Brian wanted to actually have complete conversations and catch up with family members, I opted to stay home with the babies and bring them up on Sunday for some visiting and time in the pool. This was their first experience in the swimming pool, as it's quite a production. At first they hesitated, but after half an hour or so (and once the boys stopped "showing off" and splashing the babies with their cannon balls) they decided they liked it! And we were reminded that two year olds lack impulse control and telling them to WALK around the pool makes them want to RUN! Definitely a two-person (or more) job. Now if I could just convince Ella to take off the goggles...

Memorial Day: The month ended on a high note with Memorial Day. We carried on our annual tradition of planting flowers in the front yard, hanging the flag and talking to the boys about the holiday. This is the unofficial beginning of summer at our house. Which of course included hot dogs and burgers and some fun time spent outside. But the best part was...just being a family.

Of course, for the boys, there's no way of knowing for sure what they will really remember. For Blake, it might be his hikes with Dad.

For Garrett it might be building 500+ piece Lego sets designed for 8+ year olds...all by himself!

Sometimes it's the contrived moments for which we carefully plan...and sometimes it's the simple, unexpected moments of pure joy that remind us that what's truly important.

Six Years of Garrett

What a difference a year makes! This time last year Garrett was still closer to toddlerhood than boyhood...he was still in preschool, could barely write his name and still sported those cute little chubby cheeks. Not any more. Now he's preparing for first grade (the level at which he is already reading), writing stories and songs and has grown taller (hard to believe) and more mature. There's no going back now...he's a boy.


Some things don't change, however. Like his obsession with Legos and Star Wars.

I often wonder what he would do with all the time he spends playing out Star Wars in one form or another if it didn't exist.
And he still loves any and all animals. When he grows up he wants to be a "bird studier" (like his Aunt Renee, perhaps?). And he still makes us laugh all the time. You NEVER know what is going to come out of his mouth. He knows he's a comedian, but it's usually the unintended remarks that get the most laughs. He still has a passion for art, loves to swim and, of course, can't resist a sweet treat. He may very well go off to college having lived off peanut butter and jelly sandwiches.

More than anything, Garrett loves with all his heart.
He's sensitive and emotional, but he all he wants is to make people smile. What he doesn't know is that it's HIS smile and sparkly blue eyes that make US smile and feel loved.


Happy Birthday, Garrett! May The Force be with you!

Parks and Recreation

At the top of Brian's post-tax-season-home-maintenance-catch-up list this year was getting the back yard safe for the babies to play. Until now, they've spent most of their time looking longingly out the window of the play room at all the outside toys and play things. The big boys are nice enough to provide occasional entertainment by making faces in the window at the babies, but mostly they've had to watch everyone else run in and out of the house at their own will. It wasn't really intentional that they don't get outside much...it just has worked out that way. With a boy that likes to dig holes (BIG holes) and one that likes to swing, there just hasn't been a very safe way for me to let the babies out to play and be able to keep both of them safe all the time...especially if one goes around one corner and the other around another. So, the window has been our safeguard. At least they have a nice view.

With summer coming soon and the babies getting more steady on their feet (and a yard full of toddler toys and play structures), we decided to clean up part of the back yard, enclose it and designate it as "the babies' park". So, without further ado, here it is:

Just one more reason to love Daddy. A LOT.

Chase's greatest wish is to be "just one of the boys".

Suffice it to say they are happy babies. Very happy. Almost too happy...since they fight tooth and nail when it's time to come inside. Ella has already figured out that when it's "that time" she screams "noooooo", runs to the playhouse and slams the door, locking herself inside (a preview of the teenage years, no doubt). And Chase throws a fit (and everything else he can get his hands on) when he wants to go outside but can't. Terrible Twodom has reached a whole new level at our house.

I really thought that this little "park" was going to keep me sane being home through the summer with all four kids...now I'm just hoping I make it that long. Having said that, however, I would much rather have the kids begging to go outside and play in the yard than complaining about being bored and whining for me to take them somewhere...or is that just the "Sassy Sevens"? At least you can reason with a two year old.

Now, who needs sunscreen?

That's A Wrap!

It's official, we survived another tax season...no major illnesses, no rearranging the house (at least on the inside), and no black eyes from falling toys (last year's highlights). I'm glad to report that we are all in relatively good shape all things considered. That being said, why don't I feel more relaxed? Shouldn't I feel relieved, like things are back to "normal" or at least be able to stop to catch my breath? As I thought about this (and read my blog entry from this time last year), I realized two things.

The first is that there is no such thing as "normal". "Normal" becomes dealing with whatever life demands of you. So as the demands of motherhood increase during tax season in the absence of my working husband, so does my sense of "normalcy". Routines manage the stress, planning and organization manage the routines. Once tax season is over, my sense of "normalcy" is challenged once again...because it is now obsolete. And because on the heels of April 15th is a slew of birthdays, holidays, school celebrations and then summer, there isn't really time to relax and recover. Maybe I need to rethink labeling ANYthing in this crazy life "normal" and just call it something like "moment-cy".

The second certainty is that next tax season (which is really this fall but to a lesser extent), I will be asking myself the same question: when do I get to celebrate the end of tax season? And the answer will be the same: the demands of motherhood never end. But, as Brian often reminds me, it's a labor of love. And even though it's hard work to adjust to another "moment-cy", it is always worth it in the end because our family is not complete without Brian.

Maybe someday the grueling stress of tax season won't be so bad (we can only hope)...but I think that's what they call retirement. And this economy reminds us that having a stressful job may very well be less stressful than not having one at all. So in the spirit of accounting and all things tax, we are counting our blessings.

A special thanks to my hubby for working so hard to provide for his family.

Easter...the holiday that keeps on giving

Spiritually, of course, but literally too!

It's the perfect holiday for a little girl who LOVES to wear anything on her head to indulge in pink bunny ears
(I know, this is last year's picture, but she loves the bunny ears and I still love the picture)

and an Easter basket hat to her heart's content.


It's the perfect holiday for a little boy who HOPS like a bunny
more than he walks.


It's the perfect holiday for the boy who loves to collect, examine and organize random things.


It's the perfect holiday for another boy who loves NOTHING more than a sweet treat.


And the best part is...the magic of the egg hunt makes for hours upon hours of hide-seek-find-hide fun, the novelty of the surprise inside the egg hasn't worn off (at least while the candy supply lasts), and there's always the "candy store" where you can earn extra money by "selling" the candy back to Mom (apparently my kids know I will do just about anything for chocolate...and capitalized on that at $.25 each piece!).

Then there are always new and imaginative uses for the iconic eggs...
like building an Easter nest

...or "laying" them yourself (and playing a creative version of "house" as daddy bird and baby bird).

Like I said, hours of entertainment...which translates into peace and quite for me. I'll take that over a chocolate bunny any day.