The Wilcox Six: Calculating Motherhood

Wednesday, June 2, 2010

Calculating Motherhood

It all started a few weeks ago. As we talked about what a 50th Wedding Anniversary meant, it was quickly followed with a typical question, "How many days have they been married?". As I drove down the street doing a quick calculation in my head, I replied, "Around 18,500". My answer was met by gasps of shock and laughter as the boys looked at each other in amazement. They were immediately intrigued by the large number and the wheels started turning..."Well, how many days have you and Dad been married?" and "How many days have Grandma and Grandpa been married?" and "How many...". Luckily it's a short drive to school...and math has never been my strong suit.

I didn't think much of it at the time, but after school that day Blake approached me with a calculator and asked, "Mom, how many days have I been on Earth?". Hmmm, let's see. So we did the math...and came up with 2,555. Then added roughly another 180 days (since he's technically closer to 7 and a half)...and then I had a moment of CLARITY (okay, panic then clarity). I've had 2700 opportunities to help shape his life. Twenty seven hundred chances to show him how much I love him. Have I been a successful mother?

If I answer this question honestly, then the answer is yes...and no. Blake is a wonderful child and he is very loved, but there are definite times when I missed or simply wasted opportunities to be a better mother. This was my moment of enlightenment for two reasons: One is that, while I know it's not realistic to be a perfect mom all the time, it reminds me that I have the potential to be the kind of mom I want to be to my children EVERY SINGLE DAY. And two is that knowing I've been blessed with 2700+ days with Blake is a sobering reminder of how much of a GIFT each day really is with all my children.

These are two of my favorite quotes, which, in the context of motherhood, seem to say it all:

Yesterday is history. Tomorrow is a mystery. And today? Today is a gift. That's why we call it the present. ~Babatunde Olatunji

God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change; courage to change the things I can; and wisdom to know the difference.

1 comment:

shayla said...: You are such a GREAT mom, Aimee.... love you!!!; July 19, 2010 at 9:26 AM

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The Logic of a Child

Ella, while walking down the street, put her hand out to catch the wind. "Oh, Mom, I can feel the wind!" And with a giant smile to turns to me and asked, "Is that God holding my hand?".

In his best old man voice, "Say what now?" (Chase seems to be following in Garrett's footsteps when it comes to impressions and comedic relief)

With 3 brothers, Ella is NOT happy when we discuss that she cannot join Cub Scouts. Once I convinced her that Girls Scouts was similar but for girls, she immediately tried recruiting Chase. "But, Chase, Girl Scouts sell coooookies!" He was sold!

"The only thing not monkey about me is that I can't peel a banana" (Garrett)

As I listened to music for a playlist for Grandma's memorial the twins asked, "Mom, why are you listening to music about Cheez-its?" Not "Cheez-its" I explained, "Jesus". "Oh, I know, Jesus loves me!" (Chase)

"Mom, I'm not going to clean my room because it's going to be a time capsule" (Blake). Brilliant! Why didn't I think of this one when I was a kid??

Jingle bells, jingle bells, jingle all the way. Oh what fun it is to ride NO MATTER WHAT YOU SAY! HEY! (Ella, 3, and a little sassy)

Utterly pleased with his new discovery, Chase excitedly reported, "Mom, look! My underwear has a pocket!"

Ella's newest made-up words: hooray-d (you know, the 'parade' where you clap, wave and yell "hooray"); Darth Mater (Darth Vader or Mater the tow truck, take your pick). Makes sense to me...

When Blake asked me why he coughs sometimes in the morning, I explained that he could have some allergies. Garrett's diagnosis: "Well, I think you're allergic to mornings."

With great excitement, Chase yelled, "Look, Mom, the ABC truck!" (he meant the "UPS" truck, but close enough)

Ella kept dramatically tossing her hair behind her and when I asked her what she was doing she replied, "I'm being Prince Charming!" (from the movie Shrek)

"But, momma, I wanted to go to 11-12!" (Chase couldn't quite get the name right- he meant "7-11"- while throwing a fit that his brothers got to go but he didn't. It's crazy how fast they associate things with candy!)

The best part about being a twin? When one plays tag while the other plays hide and go seek- they both win!

In his 2 yr old frustration, Chase is often heard saying "come oooooonnn" and "ohhh maaaaan" (gotta love having older siblings)

"Oh no, mama, I hurt my tail" (Ella trying to tell me she fell on her bottom) and "I have a owee on my daddy toe" (meaning her big toe, and, yes, her second toe is her 'mommy' toe- makes sense when you call the smallest ones 'baby' toes)

"Yo-ho-he-whoooo" (Chase yodelling over the monitor to let me know he's awake from his nap)

"Garrett sure has a lot of songs dancing in his head" (Blake's observation of Garrett's constant humming and singing)

In a suspenseful moment and in response to the expression "hold your breath" Garrett promptly replied, "Mine is in here!" (pointing to the balloon in his hand that he had just blown up)

"Good news, Mom, I lost my cold" (Garrett, because isn't 'losing' a cold the opposite of 'catching' one?)

"Um, Mom, be sure not to wash these in hot water cuz I don't want them to shrink" (Garrett, referring to the boxer shorts he barely squeezed into that were easily two sizes too small. Trying to hold a straight face I obliged)

"Honey, this house is out of control....Garrett is making lemonade in his bedroom." (Brian's observations about our all-too-often moments of chaos)

"Can I have this box, Mom? I'm packing for college" (Garrett...not packing for first grade, but college! Talk about growing up too fast)

"Mom, when I grow up I'm gonna be a creatologist" (Garrett, combining his interests in science, creativity and inventing)

"Uh oh, Dada, cookie broken!" (Ella's concerned reaction to being given only half a chocolate chip cookie...the down side of being a twin)

"Mom, is China really underground?" (Garrett- as in 'digging a hole to China')

With hand raised in the air, "I do, mama, weeee! I do!" (Ella saying she really wants to go to the park)

As a teenager (in months), Ella has decided she's old enough to call me "May-me" (for Aimee)

"Mommy, there's a song stuck in my head. Can you hear it?" (Garrett, my little songbird)

Garrett's latest song composition: "Hey little bee, you can't sting me, you can't sting me, I said you can't sting me!" (there's even a dance to go with it)

Garrett wanted to play doctor with his toy kit so I let him give me a "check up". When I asked him what was wrong with me he explained, "the sides of your brain aren't connected because of the hole in your mouth." Some days I think he's right.

"Mommy, I decided I'm going to marry Ella" (Garrett informed me, then continued) "and Blake can marry Chase!"

"Blake, if you like my Clone Wars pajamas, I'll sell them to you..." (Garrett, honing his negotiating skills)

"Happy Fool's Day!" (Blake's version of April Fool's Day)

Upon seeing the hungry catfish wiggling in the tank Garrett excitedly remarked, "I didn't know catfish dance!" (take a look next time you are at the pet store- they really do look like they are dancing)

"Mommy, if you want me stay little forever, I'll ask Jesus..." (Garrett)

Blake's teacher asked Blake if everyone in his family has "beautiful blue eyes" and he responded, "Yeah! And the dog has blue eyes too!" (even funnier because her eyes are brown...)

After telling me the story about how the leprechauns made a mess of his classroom on St. Patrick's Day Blake said, "Mom, I think we have leprechauns at our house because my room gets really messy!" (I agreed. Their names are Blake and Garrett)

"Blake, how did your Legos get in the wash? What are they, walking Legos?" (Garrett, the resident stand-up comedian)

Garrett informed me, "Mommy, I'm making a 'crow' costume for Flappy" (Flappy is his stuffed parrot...because doesn't every animal need a costume of a different species?)

“No, Sequoia bited it and brought it over to me” (Garrett, in defense of taking Blake’s toy, takes fibbing to a whole new level…Sequoia is the dog!)

"Mommy, the tv is malfunctioning!" (Garrett, my four year old with the vocabulary of a fourteen year old)

Last summer I explained to Blake that "Dad has to go to work to make money so we can buy the things we need." Blake thought hard for a few minutes and then asked, "But how does he make the pennies?" (thinking that Brian literally manufactured money)

After explaining to the boys that their Aunt Renee, who's a wildlife biologist, works with birds Garrett excitedly remarked "I didn't know birds work!"

"Okay, your majesty" (Garrett, finally tv does some good and my status is acknowledged, it's a good day)

"Mommy, can you please turn off the screaming babies!" (Garrett, no explaination needed)

"If you're doing nothing, then you're not working hard enough!" (Blake, big brother and future CEO)

"Daddy, can you count to a willion? It comes after infinity." (Garrett has a fascination with "infinity")

Garrett, dressed up as a doctor, came to me and said, "Mommy, I think Blake broke his funny bone." When I asked why he replied "because he's grumpy!"

"Daddy, you get a happy face!" (Blake's comment after seeing that Brian had cleaned the garage)

"Daddy, does the news ever end?" (Garrett commenting on Brian's obsession with the Fox News channel)

"If catfish eat worms, then why do people eat catfish?" (Garrett talking about going fishing)

"Look, Mommy, there's a picture of me right after I popped out of your belly!" (Garrett looking at his baby album)

"Mommy, you didn't give me the movie, so you can't take it away!" (Garrett trying to negotiate punishment)

"When airplanes fly through clouds, do they bump in to Heaven?" (Blake in deep thought)

The Wilcox Six

Wednesday, June 2, 2010

Calculating Motherhood

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The Logic of a Child

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