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Happy Dancing

Energetic. Expressive. Enthusiastic. Curious. These are all complimentary descriptions of Chase, but perhaps more accurate descriptions would be...CRAZY. HYPER. SPASTIC. LOUD. Is it possible for an infant to have ADHD? I’m a mother of three boys and I expect them to be active, but the child does NOT sit still unless he’s sleeping (and if you’ve read my earlier post you know that’s not for long)! When his legs aren’t constantly kicking and arms flailing (he’s usually doing this while smiling and grunting which is why I call this his “happy dance”), then he’s stretching and reaching for ABSOLUTELY EVERYTHING within reach (or not) and, of course, immediately “studying” it by putting it his mouth. Did I mention he’s not even seven months old yet? To say he’s determined and motivated is an understatement. Maybe it’s because he has big brothers to keep up with. Or maybe, compared to mellow Ella, anyone would seem unusually active. Either way, Chase has places to go, things to do and people to see, so get out of his way. I’m not sure if I should be impressed by his initiative to comprehend and be part of the world around him or if should be worried that he acts like he has just had a pot of coffee (all day long). No matter how you look at it, there is no question that life with Chase will be anything BUT boring… I do have one question, though…how is he not utterly exhausted? I know I am. And he’s not even crawling yet.

See what I mean?

Cirque De Wilcox

On any given day there are a number of analogies you can draw about our household, depending on the noise level and activities taking place. A “zoo” is a favorite. So is a “construction zone”, a “doctor’s office” and a “day care”. But today, it is a “circus”. For some reason the babies have been doing some interesting acrobatics lately.

Check out the video clip of Chase clowning around trying to…crawl? Run? Swim? I’m not really sure…

Here is Ella, the contortionist, doing this thing she does with her legs. She does this a lot (I’m not sure why) and her feet are always cocked in the most unnatural angle… How could this be comfortable?And then there’s the freakishly long finger-like toes on Ella (who appears to be “holding feet” with her brother). I still haven’t decided if I think this is cute or weird. Either way, who knew our kids were so talented?

Garrett: First Post-Surgery Follow Up

Today Garrett had his first post-surgery follow-up appointment. The purpose of this appointment was to remove the stent the doctor had placed to keep the ureter open for normal urine flow and perform her post-operative evaluation. The stent removal is considered an out-patient surgery (which requires general anesthesia) with the residual discomfort comparable to a catheterization. The next step is to perform an ultrasound after the body has had more time to heal (in about a month) to get make sure there that no scarring or obstructions in the ureter have occurred as a result of the. Then, at two months after that, his doctor will perform a VCUG (refer to the link under "Have you seen this?" for definition) to test for and measure any remaining urinary reflux on either side. At that point, we will hopefully have enough information to decide how to proceed going forward. I will keep the updates posted as they come.

In the mean time, Garrett is more than taking things in stride; he’s practically begging me to go to the hospital! I suspect it has SOMEthing to do with the abundance of toys he’s received, the bottomless chocolate milk and endless movie watching (the kind that are normally reserved just for “big kids”). He’s even gone so far to tell me that his throat hurts and he needs to go to “the big city” (Los Angeles) to see his doctor (forgetting that it’s his TUMMY that brings us there). I am fascinated and inspired by his resiliency, strength and courage. We’ve talked a lot about the difference between being brave and being scared and how the two are not mutually exclusive. However, Garrett is much less interested in sitting around feeling bad or sad when he has things to do- like play! I forget sometimes that we could all learn a thing or two from our little ones…

I Love You More Than Valentine's Day

I know, I’m a couple (okay several) days late making this post, but there’s a reason. Call me unsentimental, but Valentine’s Day has never been one of my favorite holidays. I appreciate the purpose of it and I think I probably embraced this holiday more when Brian and I were dating, but the day itself seems so arbitrary. After all, isn't that what anniversaries and birthdays are for? That was all until I had kids. Actually, it was all until I had kids who can draw and cut out hearts and write “I love you” (which has been up until this year). Now Valentine’s Day in our house is more like Valentine’s week; it’s the holiday that keeps on giving. There are daily displays of sibling rivalry between Blake and Garrett as to who can make the most, the prettiest or the biggest Valentine’s Day cards (which are ALWAYS a heart-shaped cut out or a drawing of hearts and some semblance of the words “I Love You”). Since being a mom is often a very thankless job and the (unsolicited) “I love you’s” are sometimes few and far between, I've embraced this holiday as a form of, let’s say….parent appreciation. I figure indulging in some candy and cookies (and the inevitable sugar high) are well worth the ubiquitous love that fills the kids’ hearts, minds and tiny fingers, even if it’s short-lived. Now, if I could just get them to show their “appreciation” all the other days too… And for the record, I love YOU (Blake, Garrett, Chase, Ella & Brian) more than... Valentine's Day!

Here is a collage of Valentine's Day pictures made by the boys.

Garrett's Valentine's Day sign that he made (that says "I love Garrett") for the front yard (he later clarified that it's supposed to mean "love, Garrett")

A sample of Blake's impressive art work.

Just a few of the Valentine's Day cards made by Garrett (the little ones are for the twins).

2/24 Addendum: Okay, we're 10 days past Valentine's Day and the boys are still giving out cards! Even the dog is getting cards now...here is a picture of the card Blake made for Sequoia (hmmm, conversation bones...he might be on to something!).

A True Measure of Beauty

I’ve never been a “hair” person. In fact, I’ve pretty much had the same hair style since about sixth grade (straight with varying degrees of lengths). I just don’t have the time, skill or patience to regularly style my hair (and I consider myself lucky that I even get to wash it most days). Having said that, I LOVE to get my hair cut. Not because of the “pampering” but because for that day my hair actually looks styled (never to be duplicated again despite my best efforts).

Today was one of those days. Getting my hair cut is no big deal, but being away from home for a couple hours without children is quite a logistical production, requiring weeks of planning in advance and coordinating for child care. When the “big day” arrives, the pressure to return home looking magically more beautiful than before is very high. My biggest critic, however, is NOT my husband (he’s a guy, it all looks the same to him)…it’s my kids! Garrett, in particular, has always been my more fashion-conscious child. He notices if I am wearing new clothes or do my make up differently. And he LOVES to style my hair. Just picture a four year old, freckles on his button nose, big blue eyes looking up at you, tongue resting in the corner of his mouth, sticky little hands in your face “fixing” your hair, concentrating intensely to get the style JUST RIGHT. This is Garrett. He takes his own hair just as seriously, combing it forward after he showers to tame his flyaways and even cutting off his cowlick to rid himself of “bedhead”.

Like most children his age, Garrett is also brutally honest. So, you can imagine how relieved I was to be greeted by an excited little voice proclaiming “Mommy, your hair looks beautiful!” Since it’s the same haircut I always get (except that this time she curled it a little more than usual), I smiled politely, said “thank you” with the same enthusiasm and silently wrote his excitement off as coaching from the grandparents who were watching him in my absence. But THEN, a while later he came to me with a handful of melted M&Ms (all my favorite color), placed these coveted prizes in my hand and ever so sweetly and sincerely said, “because your hair is so pretty I almost didn’t recognize you”. I know he meant that as a compliment. And later still, after I inevitably pulled back my hair into my “mom” pony tail as I got back to “work” Garrett actually pulled the rubber band out of my hair and said with disappointment “Mommy, what happened to your pretty hair?” At that point I promised him I would curl it again some time and make it pretty just for him. For that moment I realized that HE was proud of ME and what a wonderful, fulfilling gift he was giving me, which, of course, makes ME so proud of HIM. AND he really loves my hair…NOW I feel truly beautiful.

To Sleep Per Chance To (Sleep Long Enough To) Dream

Sleep deprivation is nearing an all-time high at our house. Not because we have twins, and not because we have four kids. Because we have CHASE! You would think that after six months things would be getting better, not worse, but that, at the moment, is wishful thinking.

Chase has never been a great sleeper, even from the moment he was born. He startles easily and is constantly looking for the warmth and comfort of strong, cradling arms. This was fine (and even cute) at six pounds, but at 22 pounds plus, it’s backbreaking! He used to only wake up once a night, but now it’s becoming more frequent- like every hour or so- (I’m not sure if it’s teething, gas from new foods or both) and his ability to soothe himself is non-existent. When he awakes, he immediately begins kicking, screaming and flailing around. There is nothing that is subtle about this child. More often than not, the moment he is picked up he nestles in to the crook of your arm and closes his eyes (usually not before flashing you his playful, sparkly smile). BUT the moment you try to lay him down and he realizes he’s free of your embrace, the bedtime song-and-dance starts over. Normally I would not have a problem letting him “cry it out” but Chase and Ella share a room and that last thing I need in the middle of the night when nerves are high and sleep is low is to have TWO screaming babies to tend to and waking up everyone else.

Here’s what I’ve tried so far. I’ve tried moving Chase in to a pack-n-play in the living room and letting him make more noise, but the problem with this, I’ve discovered, is that due to the hard floors, the sound is AMPLIFIED (and Ella’s is the closest bedroom). I also plan to be putting him in his crib MUCH more often during the day to let him “cry it out” in hopes that this training will carry over to the night time, but our house is SO loud during the day, it’s a wonder ANYone can sleep here. I’m thinking about moving Chase in to pack-n-play in our bedroom at night so that when he does cry, at least there’s less chance that Ella wakes up. But of course the trade-off here is that you-know-who then doesn’t sleep, and a grumpy and tired mom is not good for ANYBODY.

So, if you are a mom, have a mom, know a mom or even know OF a mom, I am open to any suggestions on how to improve our sleeping situation. Keep in mind that our house is SMALL (1500 sq. feet), loud (especially during the day) and crowded (so the option to rearrange rooms is limited). But, by all means, share your wisdom, I’m desperate!

Do You Sea What I See

One of the perks of living not just in Southern California but in San Diego is the annual kindergarten field trip to Sea World. That’s right, in FEBRUARY! We missed the rain by one day and ended up with a perfect day to spend with Shamu and friends. I was able to help chaperone the trip for Blake’s class, a first for both of us. We both had a fun-filled day that I’m sure we won’t soon forget. Some of the highlights for Blake were watching the Seal Lion and Otter Show, being close enough to touch (but NOT touching, Blake has a strong aversion to all things slimy, even finger paint) the dolphins and bat rays, seeing the bellies of sharks swimming above us and running endless circles in the maze-like playground (keeping me, the chaperone, on my toes). And, of course, riding the “big kid” yellow school bus. There is just something about seeing my child peering back at me through the school bus window that makes me flash back to what feels like yesterday when he was just a baby and flash forward to when he’ll be riding the bus in high school with his sports teams to away games. It’s all a little bittersweet.

Anyway, the highlights for me were actually touching the dolphins and bat rays, NOT losing any kids (except for the one who wandered off and boarded a nearby amusement ride, but we found him…) and getting a free trip(and parking) to Sea World. And, of course, spending the day with Blake. One on one (sort of) time with him is a rarity these days so it is a real treat to share this experience with him and be part of his “school” life with his peers outside of the classroom. Blake is a very special kid with wisdom and sensitivity well beyond his years and has done a beautiful job acclimating to our chaotic family life. We are very blessed to have such a sweet, good-natured child. Now if I could just figure out exactly what we did RIGHT and do that three more times…as if it was that easy!

Sweet Peas and Carrots

One milestone after another, you would think we were running a marathon! My sweet peas are growing up fast and are officially eating cereal and veggies. Here are pictures of Chase & Ella’s (affectionately known as “Chella”) first experience with carrots. Ella ate like a proper little girl and probably would have dabbed the corners of her mouth if she had a napkin within reach. Patient and pensive as always. Chase is more about the full experience- hands dirty, food everywhere and interested in eating anything that looks remotely interesting (like the colorful bib he was wearing). This is very much aligned with their personalities and they really couldn’t be more different.

That aside, this experience of “eating” for the first time must be quite odd and perplexing for these little ones. Think about it. Out of the blue the grown-ups they’ve come to love and trust begin holding a funny looking stick with mysterious matter in their face, while excitedly cheering with their mouth open wide in hopes that the babies will follow suit. Not only does this stuff NOT resemble food as they know it, but it doesn’t resemble ANYTHING familiar (except maybe the fill-in-the-blank vegetable that their big brother just spit out in protest). But it’s FUN and EXCITING and DON’T YOU WANT A BITE? And if they open their mouth just the slightest bit it is quickly filled with this foreign goop, sending their taste buds into overdrive (at which point they instinctively and immediately spit it out). How ironic that we start our lives having to be taught to enjoy eating only to spend our adulthood trying to retrain ourselves not to enjoy eating SO much.

A Girl Can Dream

Some days are better than others. Okay, make that some weeks are better than others. I don’t know what my problem is, but having been away from home for four days last week has really put me in a tail spin. I’m usually a very organized person, with schedules and lists and always one step ahead of things. But not this week. This week I’m scrambling to find things, missing deadlines, drowning in housework and trying to get my act together just enough so that I remember to feed my kids. Not a very lofty goal, I know, but that is the ONLY thing that I can’t forgo in a day. Meanwhile, the piles are getting higher, the toys are getting more spread out (think hundreds of Legos everywhere), the laundry is clean but hasn’t found the closets yet and the dust bunnies are, well, multiplying like rabbits. If you’ve ever tried cleaning a house with four little kids you quickly realize that it’s pretty much the equivalent of banging your head against the wall and you are really lucky to have one clean room at any given time. I WOULD say I need a vacation, but the thought of being away for another few days and falling behind on everything (even further) is just so overwhelming. Rather than dreaming of vacationing on some remote tropical island, I would honestly rather spend my day catching up on laundry and cleaning and only DREAM of being uninterrupted…or better yet, having a HOUSEKEEPER! Ahhh, doesn’t that sound nice? Well, a girl can dream, can’t she?

To Cut Or Not To Cut

That is the question. All my kids were born with a full head of dark, dark hair. Chase was no exception. Both Blake and Garrett had haircuts by 6 months of age but that was because their hair had grown so long and so fast. In Chase’s case, however, he’s only lost some of his hair, making for a rather awkward hair stage. He has bald patches in the back, blonde fuzz around that and long, dark “wings” with an old-man “comb-over” in the front. There’s even a little curl to the longer hair, making it difficult to “style” (without product). It does fit his somewhat eccentric personality, but it’s not exactly “baby” cute (truth be told, he looks like a stressed out old man). So…we are thinking of taking Chase for his first haircut to give him a more uniform style, BUT I’m concerned I might regret it. You know how kids always look older after they get a haircut? Are the little baby locks part of the essence of what makes them a baby? And will he lose that if we cut his hair (knowing he’ll never have that again)? Should we cut or not cut? PLEASE let me know what you think!

In This Corner...

Weighing in at 22 lbs, 3 oz. and 27 ½” tall at just 6 months of age is Chase…And in this corner, weighing in at 19 lbs 6 oz, 27” tall and also at 6 months of age is Ella. Both are serious contenders for their weight categories (off the charts, in fact) and both have been training daily for the title of Cutest Baby. Chase has been conditioning with push ups at tummy time, lots of “happy dancing”, reaching for absolutely everything and giving endless smiles and giggles. Ella’s approach is to study her opponent with great intensity and exercise heavy discipline for being completely irresistible at just the right time. She has perfected moves like the graceful back-arch-with-pointed-toes, the precious grasp-your-finger-and-don’t-let-go, and the ever-popular isn’t-she-adorable thumb sucking. Chase is excitable and enthusiastic (a sure-fire crowd pleaser) while Ella is calm and collected (with unwavering stamina). The approach which will prevail remains to be seen, but for now they have each met their match.

Home Sweet Home

Just another update on Garrett: We are very glad to be home now from the hospital and are getting back to “normal” (whatever that is). Garrett seems to be feeling good- I can tell because he’s happy to play with his toys and isn’t happy about sharing them (which is nothing new). His sutures look great and he’s healing quickly. He did experience some skin irritation from the betadine used in surgery, so we have a few extra wounds to tend to, but Garrett is unfazed. He will stay home from school this next week, but keeping him from running around may prove to be a challenge (which I consider to be a good sign). Our follow-up appointment with the doctor will be in about a month from now (when they will remove the stent) and then further testing will ensue about two months after that. Any updates between now and then will be posted on the blog. Thanks again to everyone for everything!

Update: Garrett's post-surgery follow-up and stent removal appointment is on 2/24/09. This is a little earlier than usual but his doctor feels it is better to remove the stent sooner than later due to the difficulty she had inserting it and to prevent scarring. Again, testing at three months post-surgery will give us more information.

Garrett: Post-Surgery Update

First and foremost, thank you for your thoughts and prayers. We have received a tremendous amount of love and support and we appreciate it all!

Garrett’s surgery went well and he is currently recovering and in good spirits. The reimplantation of his left ureter was successful and time will tell if this successfully corrects his urinary reflux. During the surgery, however, his doctor did notice evidence of previous reflux in his right ureter which she thinks he probably outgrew (and therefore did not show up on studies). She informed us that reflux on the right side could recur since that opening is now larger than the left and the urine will likely take a path of least resistance. Again, time and further studies will tell if this becomes the case but as of present, his right kidney function is good. His doctor also suspects a possible “kink” in Garrett’s left ureter (based on the difficulty of inserting the stent) which also didn’t appear on prior studies but may prevent ideal drainage from the left kidney (and requires a separate surgery to correct). This means that even if the reflux is corrected at the bladder, drainage from the kidney may be obstructed which can create the potential for further infection and prevent the growth of kidney that we were hoping for. We hope to know more after Garrett heals and further studies can be done.

In the mean time, Garrett continues to be a shining example of resiliency. Despite some initial anxiety about being “poked” by the “blood-sucking thing” (referring to IV placement) and having to be peeled off the furniture prior to going to the hospital (who can blame him?), he was made quite comfortable with happy drugs and has been kept pain free following surgery. Although he slept most of the afternoon following his surgery, we awoke a couple times long enough to make us smile with his Garrettesque remarks. When asked if he was feeling okay, he weakly replied “I’m all better, can we go home now?” And then fell back asleep. When he awoke a short while later we asked if he wanted anything (thinking he might reach for mom or dad for comfort and reassurance) and he weakly replied “I want my transformers.” And then fell back asleep. And, in a particularly sweet moment, he was looking at the glowing red light on his fingertip (from his oxygen saturation monitor) and he weakly reached up, rested his finger on my nose and whispered “Rudolph.” And then fell back asleep. On the schedule today is plenty of rest along with hours of playing with his assortment of Transformers, watching movies and even a trip to the playroom (see the picture)! We plan to be here until Saturday if all goes as planned.

Thanks again and I will continue to post updates as they come.

Puppy Love

If you know Garrett, you might understand why I call him my “puppy”. If you don’t, let me explain. All his life Garrett has been ENORMOUS for his age (off the charts for height and weight). You can tell when you look at his “paws” (hands and feet). So it’s no surprise that he doesn’t know his own strength. He may not mean to hurt you, but if he’s coming at you with a running hug, BRACE YOURSELF because you’re gonna get bowled over. You might think his size would make him ideal for sports but…how do I put this…he doesn’t exactly excel with coordination (although he does love swimming). You get it when you see Garrett wiggling his behind when he’s running, usually while looking in a different direction than which he’s traveling. But he has a HUGE, tender heart and is very affectionate. He loves to cuddle, sit in your lap (all 55+ pounds of him) and sneak in some wet, slobbery kisses. Are you seeing the similarities here? This is not to mention that he finds ALL animals completely irresistible (who he’s sure to greet if they are within 100 yards).

If he doesn’t win your heart with his endearing ways, then he is sure to entertain you at the very least. He loves to tell jokes (that make no sense), make up songs (that ALWAYS rhyme and, consequently, make no sense), tell stories (sometimes these do make sense, at least to him), and has a knack for remembering and repeating EVERYTHING (so you have to watch what you say). He says some of the funniest things (you’ll notice most of the quotes in my “The Logic of a Child” column come from him), but it’s not just what he says, it’s how he says it. He communicates with such drama, such animation…and such VOLUME. He loves to read (and write) books, dress in costumes and play music and sing. He has a special uniqueness about him that makes him, well, Garrett. Just don’t expect him to share his dessert (he loves his sweets)! At least he comes by that honestly…

For more information on his medical condition (vesicoureteral reflux), click on the link under “Have you seen this?”. Please keep him in your thoughts and prayers as he undergoes surgery on February 4 at UCLA. I will be sure to keep our blog updated on his prognosis.

Eat. Play. Sleep.

Well, play and sleep anyway. Here are some fun video clips of Chase and Ella (note: I had to post them separately).

Ella at play with her brothers (you'll want to have volume for this).

Don't you wish they could stay this age forever?

Make That FIVE Kids

No, I’m not pregnant, but I still have five kids (and I’m not referring to my husband, although you could make that argument). I’m talking about our dog, Sequoia. She’s a German Shepard and who-knows-what mix. Don’t get me wrong, I love our dog. She’s very gentle and tolerant with the kids, a fierce protector, and very loving and loyal. She was our first (practice) child, and you know what they say about the first (that you make the most mistakes with them…). It’s our fault for not properly training her, and now four (more) kids later, she’s still not trained and getting less attention than ever before. But, like human children, she knows how to get it when she wants it. Like stealing food not just off the table, but out of your hand! She’s quite the opportunist with my distracted little eaters. On the positive side, she does make a pretty good vacuum… She also LOVES to lick (especially toes and faces). Unfortunately for the kids, they are about eye level for her and just within reach for a good, uh, cleaning. I like to think of her as being maternal that way. She’s also been known to oh-so-casually nudge and knock over masterpiece block buildings skillfully put together by the boys and then walk away, leaving them to blame each other. Or stand in front of the tv blocking everyone’s view until she gets what she wants (which usually entails some kind of dog treat). If you’ve been to our house you’ve probably heard her howl (which is louder than the crying babies and screaming boys combined). That’s when I know it’s too loud (I’ve actually built a healthy tolerance to the noise level, but I can’t say the same for the dog or the neighbors). I keep assuring her that when the kids are big enough she will enjoy endless hours of ball fetching and running around. I think she understands because I keep finding tennis balls tucked in the babies’ swing, exersaucers and under their cribs. The boys have tried to indulge her with a game of fetch from time to time, but unfortunately part of her lack of training is how to return the ball once she’s retrieved it (so that you have to start first by gathering up every ball you can find). You’d think she would have figured this out by now. Or…maybe she has and she’s smarter than we think she is. Maybe it’s that she has trained us…hmmm.