The Summer We Went Dark

The goal was to simplify our lives where we can. So much of life around us feels more unpredictable by the day and the time, zooming by faster than ever. What else can we do but hunker down, focus on what's important and control what we can control to feel more secure? We didn't have to cancel the tv dish, but we decided it was worth the sacrifice with the monthly expense we would save. And I've maintained for a while that as dependent as I am sometimes on the "free babysitter", the tv seems to bring out the worst in the older kids. When they aren't fighting over what to watch, it's probably because they are watching something inappropriate. And the brand marketing in commercials is ridiculous. On a recent short road trip, for example, the kids were singing commercial jingles for Nationwide Insurance and Red Robin instead of nursery rhymes.

We made the decision with the idea that we could always sign back up if we felt the need to. But, really, we didn't have anything to lose. What I didn't expect, however, is how much we would gain.

I explained to the kids that we no longer had tv and braced myself for the backlash. Nothing. Not even a complaint...or whining...or endless questions challenging WHY the decision was made. Instead, the kids found other activities to occupy themselves. And not just that- they have been playing more cooperatively together, which is something I never would have predicted. They fashioned a pirate ship out of the picnic bench, had a treasure hunt, read books, built train tracks, raced matchbox cars and used their imaginations while they played with everything from their squirt guns to their plastic animals. And still no complaints. What's also amazing to me is that the house is SO MUCH QUIETER without the tv blaring in the background. And I can hear myself think...which means I have a lot more patience (which, believe me, is better for everybody). And time. For someone who never watched a lot of tv to begin with, I somehow find myself more productive during the day (and the kids have stepped up their chores- even asking to do extra!) and with more down time at night. I even had a conversation with Brian the other night without the constant distraction of pausing the tv. I can generally say that I feel more engaged with the people around me.

So the few dollars we are saving without the tv have bought something more valuable. More family time. And when it comes to simplifying, isn't spending more quality time with family what it's really all about?

The Not-So-Itsy-Bitsy Spider

When the kids came barreling into the house exclaiming they had seen a Black Widow spider in the back yard, I didn't think much of it. After all, they think every spider is a Black Widow, just like every snake is a rattle snake. So I casually grabbed a paper towel and made my way through the crowd of excited, jumping kids. Just as I suspected...it was just a spider, although bigger than I expected, but definitely not as big as a Black Widow (based on my extensive experience of having seen one in my entire life). It's legs were banded brown and black and it didn't put up much of a fight. I have to admit, however, that after reassuring the kids that is wasn't a Black Widow I was curious about the small orange mark on its belly.

It wasn't more than three minutes later that the kids came running inside once again expressing the same anxious energy and claiming that they had found another Black Widow. And in the same calm and casual response, I grabbed a paper towel and headed for the back yard, once again reassuring them that it wasn't a Black Widow. And there it was...

a text book female Black Widow. About the size of a half dollar, black as night with a bright red hour-glass mark dangling from the kids' play structure. No question about this one. Since it wasn't immediately moving I fetched my camera to take a picture of the second Black Widow I've ever seen and started snapping photos but then...it started moving. I quickly ushered the kids inside while I doused the spider in bug spray. In case you were wondering (or don't know first hand), these spiders do not die easily. It takes a steady stream of direct poison for at least a minute (granted, it was ant and roach spray) to get it to succumb to the effects. At that moment I remembered that days before I had noticed this exact web in the yard because it appeared 3-dimensional, attached to several different objects with no rhyme or reason. Not a typical spider web, which I found interesting at the time...but terrifying now that I know that is a tell-tale Black Widow web.

After the Black Widow ordeal I explained to the kids that they needed to steer clear of the area and decided to check for additional webs for good measure.

Come to find out, a wooden play structure is an ideal home for Black Widows with the numerous tight corners and objects from which to hang. I found another 5 or 6 female spiders, their webs and their EGG SACS.

And the original one I found and dismissed as a regular spider? After looking it up, I discovered that it's not uncommon for Black Widows to have brown bands on their legs. Here is one of the ones I found...

After a small panic attack and a severe case of the heebee-geebees, the play structure was off limits for playing and swinging.

But by the next morning I had discovered another more disturbing habitat for these very creepy, cannibalistic creatures...the picnic bench on our patio. The one where the kids often sit outside to eat...where I wouldn't think twice about sitting on the bench with my legs under the table...that was just feet from the back door to the house that is propped open more often than not. Yes another 3-4 female spiders, their webs and their EGG SACS.

Thankfully, the exterminator was able to come the next morning and thoroughly spray the yard. In the mean time, I gathered up all the sticky webs I could and squished the egg sacs I found. After a week of daily web checks, I think we have put an end to (or at least greatly impeded) the life cycle of the Black Widow at our house. And I can officially say I've seen more than a lifetime's worth of Black Widows. After a week of nightmares about Black Widows and having to limit my research on the computer (the more I learn about them, the creepier they are- did you you know that the baby spiders eat each other when they hatch?), I am working up to sitting comfortably at a table once again without feeling the need to check under it first and putting on shoes without violently shaking them first. Anyone else feeling a little itchy???