The Fantastic and Frustrating Fours!

 If 30 is the new 20...and 40 is the new 30...then it stands to reason that four is the new six, right?  Actually, kindergarten is the old first grade, so I’m still trying to figure out when things reverse.  Anyway, Chase and Ella are officially four...going on six!

What makes four so fantastic?  I forgot what a joy this age is- they are little sponges, amazed by even the most trivial things, and still innocent and sweet enough to love you unconditionally.  Their ideas are so fascinating, their thoughts are becoming more complex and their problem solving more creative.  Their vocabularies are growing, along with their personalities, opinions and independence.  Their emotions are raw and sincere, and their understanding of the world is evolving.  I just feel privileged to be part of it all.

And with all those things comes a whole new level of frustration.  Frustration with not having all the privileges their older brothers have, with not physically being able to do the some of the same things, and with the realization that the world does not necessarily revolve around them.  Learning some of life’s more trying lessons- like patience- doesn’t come naturally for a four year old.

Experience has taught me that is the year to cling to...to hold tight to...the year before they are exposed to the bigger world of social influences at “real” school when I’m forced to let go in a bigger way.  Until then, I’ll take the frustrating with the fantastic!

Fantastic for Chase:  He still loves dinosaurs and trucks, and a good book.  Chase has also discovered Legos and Hero Factory (this is both fantastic and frustrating for him- but GREAT for fine motor development!).  He still loves cuddles, cuddles and more cuddles, and his newest skill of which he’s super proud- going under water!  And he hasn’t met a dog or dessert he doesn’t like.

 

 Frustrating for Chase:  Waiting...for anything (I think he’s lacking the patience gene), anything scary that his brothers might be watching on tv (actually, this may be more of my frustration, as Chase seems prone to nightmares), walking through the toy section empty handed, not being able to attach/detach small Lego pieces, and when you don’t acknowledge he’s talking the FIRST time (but isn’t that all our frustration???).


Fantastic for Ella:  The continued expression through dress up and pretend character play.  You just never know who she’s going to be, and yet, she still is very confident in exactly what she wants.  Lots of unsolicited “I love you, mom”s and very advanced problem solving- like when her brother doesn’t want to play what/how she wants to, she figured out he can be easily bribed with food.  She enjoys coloring, being independent (“I can do it”), and being mommy’s helper (in her own way).

 

Frustrating for Ella:  Being told she’s “pretty” (she’d much rather you call her “handsome”), when she’s put in a position where she’s being asked to do something she doesn’t want to (as indicated by her growling and anxious stomping), not being first/in charge (she’s VERY competitive), and not being her brothers’ brother.

Happy Birthday to my fantastic four year olds!

Ella + Gavin

Everyone assured me that when Ella started preschool and was exposed to more girls she would become more interested in “girl” things.  Well...that hasn’t really happened.  At least not the playing with the other girls part (or not until just recently).  She just didn’t find that much in common with most of the girls at preschool and preferred instead to play with the boys because that’s what she knows.

But, ironically, it’s playing with the boys that has brought out the girl in her.  Well, not all of them, just one in particular.  It all started when they were both coming to school in matching fire fighter hats.  It might have been love at first sight at that point.  But then he arranged for Firefighter Chris (a family friend) to come with his engine and talk to the class.  From then on, Ella has been very interested in all things Gavin.  She gets shy and embarrassed when saying hi and reacts to his mom like she’s seeing a celebrity.  Unfortunately for her, Gavin is pretty oblivious to her new found giddiness, but that doesn’t seem to bother her.

So it was a pretty big deal to go to Gavin’s birthday party a few weekends ago.  And, thanks to my lack or organization, we were an hour early, so she got an extra hour of Gavin play time.  The party was pirate themed (with pirate-everything-you-can-imagine), and Ella was beside herself to come home with pirate dress up and play accessories (is that a match made in Heaven or what?), a treasure box with candy and prizes and what I think may have been the best three hours of her life so far.  She hasn’t stopped talking about Gavin, the pirate stuff or how Gavin is going to come to her birthday party.

She was absolutely going to sit next to the birthday boy!  Oh, and she even picked out a new "ladybug" outfit to wear to his party- yes, he's inspired her to wear "girl" clothes too.

Costumes and accessories- and not the princess type- are the way to Ella's heart.

Ah, the pirate tattoo...she insisted that we not wash it for a least a week.

My favorite part is seeing the excitement and confidence that Ella is developing in this new stage of self discovery, which is full of lots of “I love you”s and plenty of loving affection (and a little less growling).  I have to admit that I’m loving her softer, sweeter side.  And if Gavin remains oblivious, that’s just fine with me :)