It happens every year. We get so busy, so caught up in the holiday frenzy, that the time inevitably flies by and before we know it another season has come and gone. One of our resolutions each year is to try to s-l-o-w this down and provide more meaning to the holidays and create more memories as a family. So, in the spirit of Thanksgiving and giving thanks, we have started two new traditions in the Wilcox house this year.
The Thanksgiving Tree
Following a brief family meeting and discussion about how truly lucky and blessed we are, each person wrote down a few of the things for which they are most grateful. I knew I was running the risk of Garrett listing his Legos among his most cherished possessions, but I was quite surprised (and proud) to see that the boys really "got it". Here is what they wrote:
"I am thankful for my family, my friends, my home and food and water." (Blake)
"I am thankful for my crasce (crazy) famy and my coock (kookie) frends too. Thanks God for the things that I have. Thanck you God for my bruthrs and sitstr and my mom and dad." (Garrett)
And I am thankful for my practical child...and my colorful one. And my loving and dedicated husband and father to our children, my sweet and delicious babies, the warmth, security and love that fill my home, and many, many more blessings...and all the wonderful and curious packages in which they come.
The Complaint Jar
And if the Thanksgiving Tree doesn't remind us to appreciate how blessed we are, then maybe just plain giving will. The idea is that for each and every complaint from ANY member of the household- adults included- a deposit of $.25 must be made into the family Complaint Jar. With every deposit comes a gentle reminder that we have little to complain about (ie "some people have to dig their dinner out of the trash, so we are very fortunate to have hot, nutritious food- even if it's not what you wanted for dinner"). As Christmas approaches, the intention is to give the jar to a family who is less fortunate. The boys liked this idea so much that they have even made some voluntary contributions just because! And, yes, I've had to make a few deposits myself. This simple jar is proving to be a very powerful reminder of gratitude and generosity for all of us. And we are really looking forward to finding a family to give our "gift" to!
I was hopeful that the kids would come away from these experiences with a more meaningful definition of Thanksgiving and giving thanks, but I wasn't expecting that the real blessing for me would be to see my kids express genuine gratitude for what's truly important and self-less generosity because they know it's the right thing to do. You can't ask for much more than that as a parent. And now I have another thing for which to be grateful.
Monday, November 29, 2010
Monday, November 15, 2010
Going the Distance
13.1 miles to be exact.
It was a first for Brian and second for me (although there should be a statute of limitations since it's been 12 years...). We decided to commit to a half marathon a few months back, since this was the year we have decided to get AND STAY healthy. And what better goal to work towards?
Race morning went off without a hitch, and, with three months of training behind me, I felt I couldn't have been more ready. And so, as we made our way across the start line on a beautiful, sunny San Diego morning we set off. Brian and I ran just a little ways together then parted. I felt strong...in control...and faster than usual. Up until mile 10, that is. That was when I hit THE WALL. I found myself stopping to walk and questioning why am I doing this? and thinking I just want this to be over. Immediately followed by telling myself no, I can do this, just keep going. Then I came upon a runner who was receiving CPR (and it didn't look good...). After saying a silent prayer, I decided at that moment that trying to make my goal time wasn't maybe all that important. And so I ran and walked the rest of the way, very conflicted between wanting to push myself harder and giving myself permission not to.
Then I felt a tap on my shoulder. An older gentleman, a complete stranger, waving and urging me to keep running, "come on" he said with a smile in between breaths. Maybe he knew something I didn't. So I forced my aching legs into a run...for about another 100 yards then stopped to walk again. As I saw him pass me I noticed that his gate was uneven...he ran abnormally...he had some kind of disability. That was the point at which I committed myself to running the rest of way (and that the finish line was also in sight) no matter how much I wanted to walk. And, believe me, I really wanted to walk.
And so I finished with a time of 2:11. Not quite as fast as I would have liked (I was averaging closer to 9 1/2 minute miles in training), but I finished with an average pace of 10 minute miles. And I learned a few things along the way. I realized that I had neglected the all important mental aspect of training for long distances. I needed to go into it with meaningful knowledge of why I was doing it so I had something to rely on to motivate and inspire me when I felt like giving up. And just "running fast" wasn't enough. I just didn't have a plan. And Brian learned the importance of racing like you train, since he was distracted by not running with his water.
So, now we know. We know what it's like. We know we can do it. And, yes, we are going to do it again next June. Only this time, I will be training physically AND mentally. And just maybe I'll be the one tapping someone else on the shoulder when it looks like they could use the gift of encouragement to go the distance.
It was a first for Brian and second for me (although there should be a statute of limitations since it's been 12 years...). We decided to commit to a half marathon a few months back, since this was the year we have decided to get AND STAY healthy. And what better goal to work towards?
Race morning went off without a hitch, and, with three months of training behind me, I felt I couldn't have been more ready. And so, as we made our way across the start line on a beautiful, sunny San Diego morning we set off. Brian and I ran just a little ways together then parted. I felt strong...in control...and faster than usual. Up until mile 10, that is. That was when I hit THE WALL. I found myself stopping to walk and questioning why am I doing this? and thinking I just want this to be over. Immediately followed by telling myself no, I can do this, just keep going. Then I came upon a runner who was receiving CPR (and it didn't look good...). After saying a silent prayer, I decided at that moment that trying to make my goal time wasn't maybe all that important. And so I ran and walked the rest of the way, very conflicted between wanting to push myself harder and giving myself permission not to.
Then I felt a tap on my shoulder. An older gentleman, a complete stranger, waving and urging me to keep running, "come on" he said with a smile in between breaths. Maybe he knew something I didn't. So I forced my aching legs into a run...for about another 100 yards then stopped to walk again. As I saw him pass me I noticed that his gate was uneven...he ran abnormally...he had some kind of disability. That was the point at which I committed myself to running the rest of way (and that the finish line was also in sight) no matter how much I wanted to walk. And, believe me, I really wanted to walk.
And so I finished with a time of 2:11. Not quite as fast as I would have liked (I was averaging closer to 9 1/2 minute miles in training), but I finished with an average pace of 10 minute miles. And I learned a few things along the way. I realized that I had neglected the all important mental aspect of training for long distances. I needed to go into it with meaningful knowledge of why I was doing it so I had something to rely on to motivate and inspire me when I felt like giving up. And just "running fast" wasn't enough. I just didn't have a plan. And Brian learned the importance of racing like you train, since he was distracted by not running with his water.
So, now we know. We know what it's like. We know we can do it. And, yes, we are going to do it again next June. Only this time, I will be training physically AND mentally. And just maybe I'll be the one tapping someone else on the shoulder when it looks like they could use the gift of encouragement to go the distance.
Thursday, November 11, 2010
Capturing the Moment
Family pictures are kind of a big deal around here. Mainly because we had never attempted to do them before...with ALL six of us. Until now. And while I had my fingers crossed for good weather, restful naps, and stain free clothes, I knew that most of it was out of my hands. At best, we were hoping for one or two good family shots with the majority of us looking at the camera and a few more of the kids to capture their personalities. Anything more than that was icing on the cake...
Good thing our photographer was flexible and pretty quick. And had the foresight to do family pictures at the (dry) park first and foremost. Although I knew sand would be involved with a beach shoot, I was really hoping water would just be the background. Wishful thinking. So...I could have either chased my kids around, yelling at them and demanding they smile...or we could truly capture their personalities and let them be themselves. In the end, water and wet sand was a small price to pay for some fun, great pictures. EVEN IF the kids weren't striking their best Gap Kids pose and smiling at the camera... 'cuz, let's face it, that's just not REAL life.
Good thing our photographer was flexible and pretty quick. And had the foresight to do family pictures at the (dry) park first and foremost. Although I knew sand would be involved with a beach shoot, I was really hoping water would just be the background. Wishful thinking. So...I could have either chased my kids around, yelling at them and demanding they smile...or we could truly capture their personalities and let them be themselves. In the end, water and wet sand was a small price to pay for some fun, great pictures. EVEN IF the kids weren't striking their best Gap Kids pose and smiling at the camera... 'cuz, let's face it, that's just not REAL life.
A special thanks to our photographer, Shawn Kennedy:
Tuesday, November 9, 2010
Sporting It
Blue Lightning #26
This year Blake decided he wanted to give soccer a try. He's shied away from it in years past because, although he's very athletic and pretty coordinated, he isn't a big fan of playing organized sports. He'd rather just "high kick" the ball in the back yard (and usually over the fence, thankfully we have gracious neighbors). With a little encouragement he decided to join a recreational team and it turns out he loves it! (I know this for a fact because he NEVER complains about going and is HAPPY to get his gear together and get ready without a million reminders).
He ended up on one of the leagues best teams and has really improved his skill and knowledge of the game. And while he I think he does have the ability to excel, Blake is not nearly as aggressive as most kids...it just isn't his nature to "steal" the ball from friends. On the positive side, he's good about passing and he's even scored a few goals!
Garrett, the "swimmer"
In an effort to find a sport that minimizes contact potential (to protect his good kidney), Garrett has gone in a different direction. He seems to have his dad's natural ability for swimming. We decided to give the swim team a try and he's proven he's got talent...but the focus still needs work. Garrett has very strong strokes for a kid his age and easily laps other teammates when swimming. That's when he's not playing around and exploring under water. After all, he is only six. And he just can't resist being the "class clown" (and not just in swimming...). We plan to take a break during the winter months and start back up next spring. If all goes well, we should be making our way around town for various swim meets next year.
As for the twins, well, they have their own sports of sorts. Ella has taken dressing up to a whole new level with discovery of REAL costumes and super heroes. When she's not following me around the house with a costume in hand repeating, "mama, need help", she's proclaiming herself "Suuuuper Ella!".
And if talking was a sport, I think Ella would be on the All Star team...she's easily talking in 5-6 word sentences (and repeating EVERYthing I say). So far, I've learned that I can be a little bossy ("NOW, boys!"), I have very good manners (Thank you, mama, thank you"), and that she might be watching a little too much tv ("Mama, I turned Mickey Mouse on!"). Chase, while not talking as clearly as Ella, can easily out-scream any and all of his siblings. And he's still pursuing the sport of dinosaurs (playing with AND acting like them!), reenacting the movie Cars, drawing often on his doodleboard and, of course, reading books. He's still "all boy" with a big, sensitive heart and is the champion of super-tight-muscles-shaking-teeth-gritting hugs, which I can never get enough of.
As for me, I have perfected the sport of loading and unloading 4 kids, with snacks, waters, shoes, jackets, toys, etc. and being on time (usually) to soccer practice, swim practice, etc. And now that the playroom at home is no longer enclosed my new sport is chasing toddlers around the house. I haven't parted with the stroller yet, but it's days are numbered. And I can't even imagine what transitioning out of cribs is going to be like..."strength training" takes on a whole new meaning. Who knew exercising patience could actually be aerobic?
This year Blake decided he wanted to give soccer a try. He's shied away from it in years past because, although he's very athletic and pretty coordinated, he isn't a big fan of playing organized sports. He'd rather just "high kick" the ball in the back yard (and usually over the fence, thankfully we have gracious neighbors). With a little encouragement he decided to join a recreational team and it turns out he loves it! (I know this for a fact because he NEVER complains about going and is HAPPY to get his gear together and get ready without a million reminders).
Garrett, the "swimmer"
In an effort to find a sport that minimizes contact potential (to protect his good kidney), Garrett has gone in a different direction. He seems to have his dad's natural ability for swimming. We decided to give the swim team a try and he's proven he's got talent...but the focus still needs work. Garrett has very strong strokes for a kid his age and easily laps other teammates when swimming. That's when he's not playing around and exploring under water. After all, he is only six. And he just can't resist being the "class clown" (and not just in swimming...). We plan to take a break during the winter months and start back up next spring. If all goes well, we should be making our way around town for various swim meets next year.
As for the twins, well, they have their own sports of sorts. Ella has taken dressing up to a whole new level with discovery of REAL costumes and super heroes. When she's not following me around the house with a costume in hand repeating, "mama, need help", she's proclaiming herself "Suuuuper Ella!".
As for me, I have perfected the sport of loading and unloading 4 kids, with snacks, waters, shoes, jackets, toys, etc. and being on time (usually) to soccer practice, swim practice, etc. And now that the playroom at home is no longer enclosed my new sport is chasing toddlers around the house. I haven't parted with the stroller yet, but it's days are numbered. And I can't even imagine what transitioning out of cribs is going to be like..."strength training" takes on a whole new meaning. Who knew exercising patience could actually be aerobic?
Monday, November 8, 2010
Twi-A-Twee
That would be the sound of Chase and Ella (and the rest of the gang) going house to house on Halloween. Although this is not technically their first Halloween, it was the first one where the twins could actually say "trick or treat" (kind of) and carry a plastic pumpkin for candy; this was the first year they "got it". It only took a couple houses before they got the routine down: wait your turn (or, cry and then you get candy by the handful...), say your spiel and wait for them to put something in your pumpkin. That is, when I could keep Ella from "pushing the button" (doorbell) a hundred times and Chase from struggling with the homeowner to be the one to close the door. At least they said "thank you".
And I can't think of a better holiday for a girl who loves to dress up...The theme for costumes this year was supposed to be Star Wars.
But SHE had other ideas.
True to her I-want-what-you-have-more personality, she managed to take over Chase's pilot helmet and (after throwing a tantrum that she couldn't wear Chase's costume)
And I can't think of a better holiday for a girl who loves to dress up...The theme for costumes this year was supposed to be Star Wars.
Can you tell who is whom?
Garrett was Jango Fett, Blake was Commander Fox, Chase was an X-Wing pilot and Ella...was supposed to be...Princess Leia.
But SHE had other ideas.
True to her I-want-what-you-have-more personality, she managed to take over Chase's pilot helmet and (after throwing a tantrum that she couldn't wear Chase's costume)
settled on an astronaut costume we already had.
Finding the right hat was another story...
I guess it still works with the whole space-Star Wars-pilot thing. It just makes, "And what are you dressed as?" a very difficult question to answer. She's just Ella.
GO, BLAKE, GO!
Okay, so we watch a lot of Dora and Diego at our house (are you singing the song yet?)...but I couldn't resist, since the boys and Brian recently made their way to Indian Hills campgrounds in Jamul for a fun-filled day of camping activities- including a REAL zip line!!
They weren't able to camp overnight, since we had just returned from DC, but Brian and the boys spent a day with their Cub Scout dens and friends playing on the ultimate playground complete with a two story slide, giant boulders to climb, real bow and arrows for my archery lover, a human game of foosball, and, the highlight- a zip line!
Bull's eye! Well, close enough.
Zzzzipity-doo-dah....
(So much for being the "cautious child"...next he wants to skydive!)
Even the parents got to get in on the fun! And with some coaxing, Garrett was able to once again conquer his fear of heights! Either that or the kid really will do ANYthing for Legos.
Putting on a brave face...
Oh, yeah! He's the man...what's next?
Although this year's trip didn't involve us camping out, something tells me it won't be long before we find ourselves pitching a tent there....
Anyone involved in Scouts can tell you that there is a lot of camping involved. In an effort to seek out another (lower key) campground close to home we made an outing to Dos Picos Park in Ramona to check things out. In addition to a small but very nice campground, pond and surrounding hills and trails, they have a beautiful park for the kids, which, coincidentally, also had a (MUCH smaller) zip line. It was a picture perfect fall day, so I couldn't resist- you guessed it- taking some pictures.
Ella in a rare moment of sitting still...for two seconds.
Because this child doesn't WALK anywhere...she runs!
Happy Trails!
They weren't able to camp overnight, since we had just returned from DC, but Brian and the boys spent a day with their Cub Scout dens and friends playing on the ultimate playground complete with a two story slide, giant boulders to climb, real bow and arrows for my archery lover, a human game of foosball, and, the highlight- a zip line!
Bull's eye! Well, close enough.
Zzzzipity-doo-dah....
(So much for being the "cautious child"...next he wants to skydive!)
Even the parents got to get in on the fun! And with some coaxing, Garrett was able to once again conquer his fear of heights! Either that or the kid really will do ANYthing for Legos.
Putting on a brave face...
Oh, yeah! He's the man...what's next?
Although this year's trip didn't involve us camping out, something tells me it won't be long before we find ourselves pitching a tent there....
Anyone involved in Scouts can tell you that there is a lot of camping involved. In an effort to seek out another (lower key) campground close to home we made an outing to Dos Picos Park in Ramona to check things out. In addition to a small but very nice campground, pond and surrounding hills and trails, they have a beautiful park for the kids, which, coincidentally, also had a (MUCH smaller) zip line. It was a picture perfect fall day, so I couldn't resist- you guessed it- taking some pictures.
Ella in a rare moment of sitting still...for two seconds.
Because this child doesn't WALK anywhere...she runs!
Tuesday, November 2, 2010
Garrett: 21 Months Post-Surgery
So here is the latest (and hopefully last) post on Garrett's health issues stemming from his urinary reflux. After a marathon day of testing at UCLA- which Garrett took like a REAL champ- we finally have some answers.
The tests confirmed that he still has Grade II reflux in his left ureter, but that there is no hydronephrosis (or pressure being applied to the kidney from the back up of urine, which would create a greater potential for scarring and infection). We also confirmed that his left kidney function is still around 16%. It showed there was some growth in his healthy kidney (as expected as his body grows as a whole), but his left kidney measured slightly smaller than last time. Although we were hoping for some growth in his left kidney- having reduced the reflux- we now know that there is not much potential for his damaged kidney. As bad as that sounds, it's not necessarily bad news...and it provides us with a path.
The doctor's opinion was that as long as Garrett remains infection and symptom-free and does not develop hypertension (the kidneys produce an enzyme that helps regulate blood pressure), there is no need to remove his damaged left kidney. (Big sigh of relief!) Of course there are no guarantees, but we'll take it for now. The risks are minimal to his healthy kidney since he does not have reflux on that side and we will have to monitor him with ultrasounds (SO much better than VCUG's which require being catheterized) and blood pressure checks, but he is otherwise able to live a normal and healthy life! Hallelujah!
So while tackle football and motorcross racing are out, Garrett is especially excited about not having to endure the long and painful trips to UCLA. On the positive side, he is eager to revisit the campus again in future....when he's a student there and not a patient. Go Bruins?
The tests confirmed that he still has Grade II reflux in his left ureter, but that there is no hydronephrosis (or pressure being applied to the kidney from the back up of urine, which would create a greater potential for scarring and infection). We also confirmed that his left kidney function is still around 16%. It showed there was some growth in his healthy kidney (as expected as his body grows as a whole), but his left kidney measured slightly smaller than last time. Although we were hoping for some growth in his left kidney- having reduced the reflux- we now know that there is not much potential for his damaged kidney. As bad as that sounds, it's not necessarily bad news...and it provides us with a path.
The doctor's opinion was that as long as Garrett remains infection and symptom-free and does not develop hypertension (the kidneys produce an enzyme that helps regulate blood pressure), there is no need to remove his damaged left kidney. (Big sigh of relief!) Of course there are no guarantees, but we'll take it for now. The risks are minimal to his healthy kidney since he does not have reflux on that side and we will have to monitor him with ultrasounds (SO much better than VCUG's which require being catheterized) and blood pressure checks, but he is otherwise able to live a normal and healthy life! Hallelujah!
So while tackle football and motorcross racing are out, Garrett is especially excited about not having to endure the long and painful trips to UCLA. On the positive side, he is eager to revisit the campus again in future....when he's a student there and not a patient. Go Bruins?
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