Make That FIVE Kids

No, I’m not pregnant, but I still have five kids (and I’m not referring to my husband, although you could make that argument). I’m talking about our dog, Sequoia. She’s a German Shepard and who-knows-what mix. Don’t get me wrong, I love our dog. She’s very gentle and tolerant with the kids, a fierce protector, and very loving and loyal. She was our first (practice) child, and you know what they say about the first (that you make the most mistakes with them…). It’s our fault for not properly training her, and now four (more) kids later, she’s still not trained and getting less attention than ever before. But, like human children, she knows how to get it when she wants it. Like stealing food not just off the table, but out of your hand! She’s quite the opportunist with my distracted little eaters. On the positive side, she does make a pretty good vacuum… She also LOVES to lick (especially toes and faces). Unfortunately for the kids, they are about eye level for her and just within reach for a good, uh, cleaning. I like to think of her as being maternal that way. She’s also been known to oh-so-casually nudge and knock over masterpiece block buildings skillfully put together by the boys and then walk away, leaving them to blame each other. Or stand in front of the tv blocking everyone’s view until she gets what she wants (which usually entails some kind of dog treat). If you’ve been to our house you’ve probably heard her howl (which is louder than the crying babies and screaming boys combined). That’s when I know it’s too loud (I’ve actually built a healthy tolerance to the noise level, but I can’t say the same for the dog or the neighbors). I keep assuring her that when the kids are big enough she will enjoy endless hours of ball fetching and running around. I think she understands because I keep finding tennis balls tucked in the babies’ swing, exersaucers and under their cribs. The boys have tried to indulge her with a game of fetch from time to time, but unfortunately part of her lack of training is how to return the ball once she’s retrieved it (so that you have to start first by gathering up every ball you can find). You’d think she would have figured this out by now. Or…maybe she has and she’s smarter than we think she is. Maybe it’s that she has trained us…hmmm.