The Summer We Went Dark

The goal was to simplify our lives where we can. So much of life around us feels more unpredictable by the day and the time, zooming by faster than ever. What else can we do but hunker down, focus on what's important and control what we can control to feel more secure? We didn't have to cancel the tv dish, but we decided it was worth the sacrifice with the monthly expense we would save. And I've maintained for a while that as dependent as I am sometimes on the "free babysitter", the tv seems to bring out the worst in the older kids. When they aren't fighting over what to watch, it's probably because they are watching something inappropriate. And the brand marketing in commercials is ridiculous. On a recent short road trip, for example, the kids were singing commercial jingles for Nationwide Insurance and Red Robin instead of nursery rhymes.

We made the decision with the idea that we could always sign back up if we felt the need to. But, really, we didn't have anything to lose. What I didn't expect, however, is how much we would gain.

I explained to the kids that we no longer had tv and braced myself for the backlash. Nothing. Not even a complaint...or whining...or endless questions challenging WHY the decision was made. Instead, the kids found other activities to occupy themselves. And not just that- they have been playing more cooperatively together, which is something I never would have predicted. They fashioned a pirate ship out of the picnic bench, had a treasure hunt, read books, built train tracks, raced matchbox cars and used their imaginations while they played with everything from their squirt guns to their plastic animals. And still no complaints. What's also amazing to me is that the house is SO MUCH QUIETER without the tv blaring in the background. And I can hear myself think...which means I have a lot more patience (which, believe me, is better for everybody). And time. For someone who never watched a lot of tv to begin with, I somehow find myself more productive during the day (and the kids have stepped up their chores- even asking to do extra!) and with more down time at night. I even had a conversation with Brian the other night without the constant distraction of pausing the tv. I can generally say that I feel more engaged with the people around me.

So the few dollars we are saving without the tv have bought something more valuable. More family time. And when it comes to simplifying, isn't spending more quality time with family what it's really all about?

Out and About in San Diego

It's vacation time for the Wilcoxes...which means the annual week of "stay-cation" activities we get to enjoy as a family. This is by far the highlight of our summer.

We kicked things off with a day of good old fashioned picnicking with family at Santee Lakes. We even had our 15 (mili)seconds of fame as a local news station filmed us. This quickly became a game of "How Many Wilcoxes Can You Count". Wanna play? (click to access link) I think just about all 16 of us made it on the news clip to some degree. And the kids couldn't have had more fun at the splash pad. For the twins (who can't swim yet), it was a welcomed chance to play independently in the water...however they wanted. It was a great day and fun time spent with cousins.

If there is a table full of girls, you can bet Garrett will be near.

Coming off the 4th of July and needing to recover from way too many nights of going to bed late, we opted for a low-key bowling excursion on Tuesday. Unfortunately, I think the novelty has worn off some for the twins, who were done by the fourth frame (granted a game with six players does seem endless when the ball is getting stranded in the lane every other turn...or taking an eternity make its way to the pins, only to knock down ONE). And the boys were anxious to make their way to the arcade, where Garrett promptly spent the $4 in quarters he brought on pencil toppers (another pointless collectible)...and Blake spent most of his trying to win a stuffed dinosaur for Chase using "the claaaawww". No such luck, but a sweet gesture none the less.

We braved the beach on Wednesday...with the rest of San Diego and out of town visitors. But the boys love any opportunity to crash into waves and the twins to dig in wet sand. Garrett also got try out his new boogie board, which he picked up quickly.

Blake has been saving diligently for an iPod Touch, so rather than spend his money on a boogie board, he opted for the less expensive water toy- the pool noodle.

The twins are still not too excited about moving water, but Chase had a great time making friends with the sand crabs and Ella enjoyed the multiple trips to the "big girl potty" and the perpetual process of getting sandy, showering off, getting sandy, showering off, so on and so forth.

Chase's red bucket is full of sand crabs.

Even though going to the movie theater for the first time to see Cars2 was supposed to be Chase's potty training reward (it didn't take long for me to realize that unlike his sister, Chase isn't quite ready to potty train), we had planned to go all along and decided to go through with it. The twins did better than I thought through the previews, but Chase promptly declared he was ready to go home after they ended (flashback to fireworks...). We convinced him to stay and to eat his popcorn. They made it through almost half of the movie before they decided they would rather explore. Ella was especially upset to learn that when the movie ended, it was over and time to go home. She learned the hard way that movies at the theater do not pause while you get up to play. Needless to say, the twins' lack of naps this week was quickly catching up with them.

But not to worry...the backyard camp out was sure to wear them out! We saw this as a trial run for "real" camping and campfire fun for the twins. The kids had a blast roasting hot dogs and smores on the little red bbq.

And playing outside after dark wasn't so bad either.

But NOTHING can compare with sleeping in the tent!

Do you think someone is excited?

It was a perfect night for camping and I loved that the option of modern conveniences was footsteps away! The kids did great sleeping in the tent (except maybe Chase, who was fighting with his brother in his sleep...literally! and Ella who woke up three times to go potty).

Judging from the next morning, I would say it was a success.

But, alas, what would a true vacation be without a trip to Urgent Care? Chase tripped running out of the tent and spent the night and morning scooting around so as not to put pressure on his foot. An x-ray confirmed no broken bones, but follow up will be necessary if it doesn't improve by next week (which it seems to be, thankfully!).

And then there were the little things that make vacation...plenty of junk food, time spent with extended family, staying up late and sleeping in (for the kids at least), lots of sunshine and water and hopefully some good memories. Restful and relaxing? Not exactly...but nothing with four kids ever is. And it's just enough to make you long for the predictable chaos that is "normal" to recover from the "fun".

Something tells me I'm not the only one...

Let Freedom Reign

Free to run. Brian and I kicked off our 4th of July by running in the Old Pros Scripps Ranch 10k. Despite the humidity, it was a great run...a fun course, a downhill finish, and a real sense of community. Not to mention a good excuse to eat a little extra apple pie.

Free to slide. If you can't beat 'em, join 'em, right? So it made perfect sense to deal with the high humidity by pumping up the giant water slide and breaking out the Slip 'N Slide. Oh, and building the ultimate squirt gun- the Water-Zooka! The kids (and some friends) had a blast playing in the water. And when I say "kids", I also mean Brian and Renee.

Like father...

...like son.

Free to eat. July 4th and bbq'ing are synonymous, right? This year we chose a not-so-traditional meal to bbq- pizza! We stuck with the tradition of making homemade pizza from scratch and Brian decided to try grilling it on the bbq. It turned out fabulously...but you couldn't complain if you wanted to, since we each made our own individual pizzas. Of course, what's dinner without dessert? Another 4th of July tradition was carried out and we made home made ice cream in a bag. I'm always surprised at how delicious this is!

Free to celebrate. Once again we made our way to the high school to catch the local fireworks show. The best part to the kids is having the freedom and independence to run around and explore with friends. The kids dug the music, Renee brought the cool glow sticks and paraphernalia and we got to sit back and enjoy it (when we weren't chasing the twins).

While Ella practiced her "oooh's" and "aaahh's" Chase promptly packed up his blanket and the first sign of fireworks and stated clearly that he was "all done" and "ready to go home". Needless to say, Chase didn't quite enjoy the show as much as everyone else.

Free to be free. At the end of the day, we are grateful to the brave men and women who give and have given to so much to our great country and our treasured freedom. We have a lot to celebrate.

The Not-So-Itsy-Bitsy Spider

When the kids came barreling into the house exclaiming they had seen a Black Widow spider in the back yard, I didn't think much of it. After all, they think every spider is a Black Widow, just like every snake is a rattle snake. So I casually grabbed a paper towel and made my way through the crowd of excited, jumping kids. Just as I suspected...it was just a spider, although bigger than I expected, but definitely not as big as a Black Widow (based on my extensive experience of having seen one in my entire life). It's legs were banded brown and black and it didn't put up much of a fight. I have to admit, however, that after reassuring the kids that is wasn't a Black Widow I was curious about the small orange mark on its belly.

It wasn't more than three minutes later that the kids came running inside once again expressing the same anxious energy and claiming that they had found another Black Widow. And in the same calm and casual response, I grabbed a paper towel and headed for the back yard, once again reassuring them that it wasn't a Black Widow. And there it was...

a text book female Black Widow. About the size of a half dollar, black as night with a bright red hour-glass mark dangling from the kids' play structure. No question about this one. Since it wasn't immediately moving I fetched my camera to take a picture of the second Black Widow I've ever seen and started snapping photos but then...it started moving. I quickly ushered the kids inside while I doused the spider in bug spray. In case you were wondering (or don't know first hand), these spiders do not die easily. It takes a steady stream of direct poison for at least a minute (granted, it was ant and roach spray) to get it to succumb to the effects. At that moment I remembered that days before I had noticed this exact web in the yard because it appeared 3-dimensional, attached to several different objects with no rhyme or reason. Not a typical spider web, which I found interesting at the time...but terrifying now that I know that is a tell-tale Black Widow web.

After the Black Widow ordeal I explained to the kids that they needed to steer clear of the area and decided to check for additional webs for good measure.

Come to find out, a wooden play structure is an ideal home for Black Widows with the numerous tight corners and objects from which to hang. I found another 5 or 6 female spiders, their webs and their EGG SACS.

And the original one I found and dismissed as a regular spider? After looking it up, I discovered that it's not uncommon for Black Widows to have brown bands on their legs. Here is one of the ones I found...

After a small panic attack and a severe case of the heebee-geebees, the play structure was off limits for playing and swinging.

But by the next morning I had discovered another more disturbing habitat for these very creepy, cannibalistic creatures...the picnic bench on our patio. The one where the kids often sit outside to eat...where I wouldn't think twice about sitting on the bench with my legs under the table...that was just feet from the back door to the house that is propped open more often than not. Yes another 3-4 female spiders, their webs and their EGG SACS.

Thankfully, the exterminator was able to come the next morning and thoroughly spray the yard. In the mean time, I gathered up all the sticky webs I could and squished the egg sacs I found. After a week of daily web checks, I think we have put an end to (or at least greatly impeded) the life cycle of the Black Widow at our house. And I can officially say I've seen more than a lifetime's worth of Black Widows. After a week of nightmares about Black Widows and having to limit my research on the computer (the more I learn about them, the creepier they are- did you you know that the baby spiders eat each other when they hatch?), I am working up to sitting comfortably at a table once again without feeling the need to check under it first and putting on shoes without violently shaking them first. Anyone else feeling a little itchy???